


Quickies

by xkuramaxhieix



Category: One Piece
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 11:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2848676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xkuramaxhieix/pseuds/xkuramaxhieix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All the quickies I've done thus far will be in this fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Let's talk about sex

Zoro stealthily crept into the kitchen, careful to keep his steps light and fast. Even with the commotion of Luffy, Chopper and Usopp running around on Thousand Sunny's deck, the love-cook's ears were still sharp. As Zoro crept across the floor of the kitchen, keeping low to the ground, he kept an eye out for the cook, well, his only eye, out for the cook.

Spotting Sanji standing by the sink washing dishes, Zoro took the chance to pick up the pace as he inched closer and closer to the fridge where Sanji usually kept a bottle of his favorite booze chilled for him. He normally wouldn't have to sneak around, but Sanji was being particularly difficult today and wouldn't let him have any, forcing Zoro to resort to sneaking around.

With a triumphant smirk, Zoro reached the fridge without Sanji's notice. However, before he could open the fridge to steal the bottle, he was rolling to the side to avoid the foot that had now dented the fridge. Leaping to his feet, he came face to face with one pissed off lover. He snarled "Oi! Curly brow, what the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

Sanji exhaled and plucked the cigarette from his lips as he said "Oh? I seem to have caught a rat in my kitchen. What the hell does it look like, marimo?! You're trying to steal booze from my kitchen, and I already told you, you don't get any today for the shit you pulled last night!"

Zoro glared at Sanji and said angrily "I already told you it was a fucking accident, you prissy cook! Why the fuck are you throwing a tantrum over one plate?! It's not like Luffy hasn't trashed plates before! We have plenty left!" Zoro instinctively used a sheathed Wadou to parry the kick aimed for his head. Sanji shouted at the other male at the same time "Fucker, that's not why I'm upset! I made the fucking onigiri for you and you wasted some of them!"

Oh.

Well that explained a lot. Sanji always has this hang up about wasting food, but in this case, it really couldn't be helped. The plate's shards had been ground into the flattened onigiri thanks to either Luffy's sandal or Usopp's boot, so the food had to be wasted. Still, Zoro wasn't happy that he was being punished when it really wasn't his fault. Luffy had knocked the plate from his hand, and the ensuing reaction had lead to a rather angry game of chase with Luffy laughing like an idiot as he ran. Still, Zoro wanted the damn booze.

Well, no helping it then. Zoro sighed and decided to use his secret weapon. The cook was already riled up and angry, so he might as well make it worth his while for stealing the booze. Sheathing Wadou back in his haramaki, Zoro watched the other male warily, watching to see if Sanji would attack him. Satisfied that the other male wouldn't, Zoro made his move. Opening his mouth, Zoro started to softly sing a song, one he knew would catch Sanji's attention "Let's talk about sex, baby. Let's talk about you and me. Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be."

As Zoro sang, his voice dropped into a husky, seductive purr. He delighted in watching Sanji shiver in response, knowing that the song, and his voice were having an effect on the male. At the same time, Zoro approached Sanji slowly. Tapering the song off into a hum as he pressed Sanji back against the counter, he leaned in to nuzzle Sanji's neck as Sanji stubbed out the cigarette in anticipation of what was coming next.

Zoro turned to kiss Sanji instead. Kissing the other male hungrily, he held on to Sanji's hips, grinding against the other male and guiding the other male to move with him. Pressing Sanji against the counter once more, Zoro continued to kiss a pliant Sanji. Ah yes, Sanji was weak now. Now was the time to strike!

Continuing to kiss and distract Sanji, Zoro's nimble fingers got to work. When Zoro finally broke the kiss, Sanji whimpered in protest, opening his shut eyes to glare at Zoro, only to yelp at the cold bottle pressed against his cheek. "Oi, you bastard!" he snarled, glaring at a smirking Zoro.

Zoro, in response said "Thanks for the booze, cook." Leaning in, he purred in Sanji's ear "Let's talk about sex, baby…later." Laughing, he kissed Sanji's lips quickly before taking off, leaving Sanji standing in front of the half opened fridge with an expression of outrage on his face.

As the door to the ship's galley swung shut, Zoro heard a distinct shout of "MARIMOOOO!"

Sex.

It worked every time.


	2. Missing him

Luffy doesn't think about Ace often, but when he does, he sits on the head of Thousand Sunny and looks out at the ocean. After a while, he'll pull a bead from his pocket and will just look at it. It's a red bead that looks old, and altogether ordinary. It's dirty, and scratched, but that's okay. It belonged to Ace, and that's all that matters to Luffy. It's a part of Ace that Luffy brings with him everywhere. Luffy thinks that if he brings the bead with him, the day he becomes King of the Pirates, Ace will be there too.

For now, Luffy holds the bead, thinking that Ace is watching over him, cheering him on. He knows Ace would be proud of him. That doesn't stop the tears though. They don't come often, but every once in awhile, when he's missing Ace, he'll cry. Luffy always misses Ace, the pain of losing his precious brother never goes away, but he resolves to move forward. He doesn't look back on what he could have done, or what could have been, he just misses Ace. He misses knowing that Ace is somewhere out there in the world, doing whatever he does. The ache in his heart doesn't fade, but when he's with nakama, he can forget about it for a little while.

On days like these, Sanji will make him lots of extra meat, Usopp will tell him the funniest stories, and Chopper will want to play a lot more. Zoro would sit quietly by the figurehead and wait for Luffy to come down. Nami and Robin will give Luffy the space he needs. Franky will have something cool to show him, and Brook will play cheerful music, or join him in melancholy and play 'Bink's Sake'. Each of his nakama has their own way of trying to cheer him up, and Luffy appreciates it. He appreciates the crew being there for him.

Today is a crying day, but Luffy resolves that he won't cry. He bites his lip and swallows the tears as he thinks of Ace. Pushing the tears away, he shoves the bead in his pocket, and wipes his eyes. Turning around to face the crew scattered around on the deck, he forces a grin and rejoins them on deck to play games.

Later that night, when everyone's asleep in bed, or out on deck on watch, Luffy pulls the blankets over his head, and cries.

_Watch over me, Ace!_


	3. Personal plumbing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was inspired by a picture I can no longer find, so ta da~!

Sanji was really enjoying the view.

He had his favorite glass of red wine, and there was a very gorgeous moon out tonight. It was really turning out to be a great night tonight.

The moon was nice, full, and gorgeous. Ah, but the moon was also firm, toned, and deliciously squeezable. It also happened to be clad in a  _very_ nicely fitted pair of dark brown khaki cargo shorts. Oh yes, it was a very,  _very,_  nice moon. The rest of the package attached to the moon that Sanji was currently admiring was really nice too. A dark, fitted olive green wife beater clung to the man's toned frame, matching the khaki cargo shorts perfectly. The man's toned body that was hidden under the wife beater, came from years of weight lifting and mixed martial arts training. Oh yes, Sanji was  _intimately_  familiar with that body, much to his own personal pleasure. Sanji watched as the body in front of him flexed and moved, bent over and under the sink, installing the last of the pipes for his new kitchen sink.

Finished with the installation of the last pipe, Sanji watched the man back out from under the sink and get to his feet. Sanji sighed in disappointment as the moon he'd been admiring just a few moments ago, disappeared. Blowing out a steam of smoke, Sanji watched as the male, who Sanji affectionately called 'marimo' but preferred the name 'Zoro', strip the work gloves off his hands and toss them onto the counter next to the newly installed sink. Leaning against the sink counter, Zoro adjusted the light tan worker's belt on his hips, hiking the sagging belt a little bit higher up on his hips. Folding his arms across his well-toned chest, Zoro asked raising an eyebrow, "Satisfied, Mr. Blackleg?"

Resting his elbows on the counter, Sanji cupped his chin in his hands and giving Zoro a dopey, flushed grin, said happily "Uh-huh." He really was... Satisfied, that is. Very. But, Sanji couldn't help but think of other ways he could be satisfied, more  _personal_  ways he could be satisfied. Plucking the cigarette from his lips, he put the half-finished cigarette out in the ash tray next to his elbow. Pushing the ash tray to rest next to the half-finished glass of wine in front of him, he decided that now was a great time to have Zoro work on some personal plumbing. Slipping off the bar stool, he sauntered around the counter, hyper-aware of Zoro's gaze on him. Sauntering up to Zoro, Sanji looped his fingers in the worker's belt that Zoro wore, pulling the male's hips forward a little to rest against his own. Sanji then looked up at Zoro and purred "But you know, Mr. Roronoa, I can think of  _other_  ways you can satisfy me. I still have some home projects for you to finish, if you're interested?"

Zoro smirked. Oh yes, he was  _very_ interested. Reaching out with his hands, he wrapped his arms around Sanji's waist, pulling the man flush against him, satisfied with the pleased squeak that Sanji emitted from the sudden movement. He rumbled, playing along with Sanji's request "Oh? And what other home projects do you have left for me to do. Mr. Blackleg?"

Sanji was thrilled that Zoro was playing along. It wasn't often that they played games like this, but when they did, they were definitely memorable. Sanji purred, trying to keep too much excitement from bleeding into his voice, and ruining the game, as he ground their fronts together "How are you with  _personal_  plumbing, Mr. Roronoa?"

Zoro groaned softly in pleasure at the much needed friction, but he answered with a small smirk "I'm very experienced with personal plumbing." Reaching out to cup Sanji's ass, he kneaded the black slacks clothed globes of flesh in his hands. He leaned down to purr in Sanji's ear, blowing hot air across the shell of Sanji's ear, "Especially with your personal plumbing, Mr. Blackleg." Zoro felt Sanji shudder in his grasp and grinned smugly. It was always nice to feel Sanji's responsive body against his own. Nipping Sanji's ear lobe, he purred "Does your plumbing need to be checked, Mr. Blackleg?" He ground his front against Sanji's, feeling the answering swell of the man's growing erection.

Sanji said breathily, eagerly anticipating what was coming next, "Damn straight, Mr. Roronoa." Hastily unbuckling the worker's belt from Zoro's waist, he ignored the sound of tools and the belt clattering to the floor. It was time to move things along, Sanji felt like he was going to die from the anticipation of what was to come next. Deftly wrapping his legs around Zoro's waist, he grinned and said breathlessly, voice thick with arousal "So how about we go check the plumbing in my bedroom?" He felt the vibrations from Zoro's chuckles reverberate through his body. After Zoro's chuckles died down, Zoro answered "I'd love to, Mr. Blackleg." After that, Sanji didn't even bother to respond because Zoro's lips were pressed against his own, eagerly prying Sanji's mouth open with his tongue. Wrapping his arms around Zoro's neck, Sanji felt Zoro lurch under him as the male stood up and started to move somewhat clumsily towards their bedroom.

Sanji was lucky that they'd been living in this apartment for awhile, otherwise he was pretty sure that Zoro would have gotten lost, or tripped over things before they made it to the bedroom. Nothing killed the mood faster than his idiotic, but lovable, mosshead stubbing his toe or getting lost in the bathroom when they were aiming for the bedroom.

When Sanji's back hit the bed, he watched as Zoro was about to remove his shirt, when a sudden thought occurred to him. He said hastily "Oi, wait, Zoro! Keep your shirt on." Zoro looked up at Sanji, a frustrated expression crossing his features as Zoro said "Don't fucking tell me you're going to back out now, cook. If you chicken out now, I'm gonna-" Sanji cleared his throat to interrupt the male, knowing that Zoro was about to go on tirade about Sanji once again cock blocking him. He said before Zoro could even finish the complaint "No, no. It's just..." Sanji's face pinked as he hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to phrase his desire without Zoro misunderstanding or teasing him and killing the mood. Zoro, impatient and horny beyond belief could really care less at this point. He just wanted to get on with it already. Zoro demanded, the impatience bleeding into his voice "Just what, cook?" Sanji fidgeted under Zoro, the male's heated and frustrated stare making him a bit embarrassed as he grumbled "I like the idea of fucking you in your handyman clothes." At this admission, a huge grin spread across Zoro's face.

Looking rather pleased with himself, Zoro said "Hou~ so the cook has a fetish for handymen?" Zoro wasn't all that surprised really. It seemed that Sanji had a uniform fetish when it came to Zoro. Not that Zoro could complain. He liked seeing Sanji in all those fancy ass suits the man wore when he went to work, but still, he enjoyed giving Sanji hell for it whenever he could. Sanji's head snapped up and he glared at Zoro as he said impatiently "Well? Are you going to make fun of me or are you going to get on with it, mosshead?" Zoro, still far too smug about Sanji's admission, said in a sing song voice "Don't worry Mr. Blackleg, I'm an expert in personal plumbing. Just make sure you tip the handyman when we're done."

Zoro's laughter echoed in the air as he spent the rest of the night  _thoroughly_ examining Mr. Blackleg's personal plumbing.


	4. Next to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was inspired by the song "Next to me" by Emili Sande. I may/may not have misspelled her name, but yeah...... Now you know!

I don't know what you were thinking when you left him.

Did you even think?

For that matter, did you even care?

No, I don't think you did, because if you cared about him as much as I do, you'd see what I see. You'd see a man, capable, strong and caring, and you'd never let him go. Not for anything. If you saw him the way I saw him, you'd realize how lucky you are to have him. How lucky you are to have him in your home, and in your life.

Did you turn him away because he wasn't fancy enough for you? Or was it the scars? Each and every scar tell a story, like a map of his life. Did you know that? I did. I was there when he was in the hospital after losing the fight to Mihawk. Did you even know about that? Did you even care? Or was the fact that he was strong, and honorable all that mattered to you? When he came to me after you left him, he wasn't crying. He doesn't cry anymore. He can't cry. The last time he cried was when he buried his sister. Did you know that? No, I bet you didn't. He came to me, heartbroken, and in pain. His lips trembled, and he scrubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand, like he wanted to cry. But he didn't. I told you, didn't I? He doesn't cry anymore.

I took him in that night, I gave him all the alcohol and the food he wanted, and I kept him company. You don't know this, but he really loved you. Really. As much as he was capable of it, he loved you, and you hurt him. If he let me, I would have tracked you down and kicked the shit out of you, but he didn't want that, so I didn't. I didn't want to hurt him any more than you already had. He was already so fragile. It was like he was made of glass. That's how badly you hurt him. Did you know that? He loved you, truly. Zoro's a lot of things. He's a brute, an idiot, a mosshead, he likes alcohol far too much, and he's not very respectful when it comes to women, and ridiculously direction-challenged, enough that it's more frustrating than cute, and he's also a sword-obsessed jerk. Believe me, I know about Zoro's bad qualities. I am his best friend after all. But did you even think about his good qualities when you broke him? When you earn Zoro's loyalty, he's loyal to a fault. He believes in you wholly and completely. He's a good man. Honorable. He stands up for his friends, defends them, fights for them. Did you even consider how reliable he can be when you need him? Zoro's not a man of many words, but when you tell him you need him, come hell or high water, he will be there to help you, even if he doesn't want to.

If you don't even know about these qualities, then I suppose you don't know about Chopper, or how he treats Chopper, do you? Out of all of our friends, Chopper is the youngest at seventeen years old. Chopper's a child really. He's also incredibly smart and training to be a doctor. If you knew about Chopper, you'd know how Zoro treats Chopper. Chopper is like a little brother to Zoro, and Zoro is Chopper's big brother. Zoro protects Chopper, watches out for him, and takes care of him. If you look carefully, you'd notice how Zoro lights up with pride when Chopper is around. Zoro's very much the proud big brother.

If you had noticed that, I wonder if you'd have stayed?

But you didn't. You broke him, shattered him, destroyed his heart and left it in so many tiny pieces that there wasn't anything to pick up but dust. I bet you knew that, and I know you didn't care. When Zoro came to me, he stayed with me for a week. It was too painful for him to go home he'd said. So I'd let him stay, sheltered and protected as he tried to regroup and recover.

All our friends were angry. Luffy especially when he found out. Luffy has his own big brother, Ace, but he looks up to Zoro and respects Zoro. Zoro's also one of his best friends, and Luffy takes care of his friends, no matter what. They were out for blood. They would have killed you if they'd found you, but Zoro held them off. He'd insisted they leave you alone. I wonder if you know that, or are you blissfully unaware? I hope not. You don't deserve it.

Yeah, I heard.

Zoro told me what you'd said to him when you broke up with him. He hadn't meant to let it slip, but I'd made him tell me. Such a silly thing, we'd been sparring, trash talking, and Zoro had seemed to be cheering up a little bit, but then one of us said something, something small, insignificant, and he'd just...clammed up. It took a lot of alcohol and coaxing before he told me. He told me all the names you'd called him when you broke up with him. He told me how you called him "useless", "trash", and a nobody. He told me how you insulted him, degraded him. Did you know that Zoro doesn't bottom? Normally he likes to top, but he bottomed for you, because he loved you and you destroyed him for it. You made fun of him, called him names, hurt him, broke him. He became vulnerable for you, let you see the side of him that very very few people have seen, not even his friends, and you broke him. Was it fun? Laughing at him and his insecurities? Was it enjoyable? Did you enjoy hurting him? Breaking him?

Because believe me, you did a fucking fantastic job of it. When he came to me that night, I'd never seen him so broken, so hurt. You really messed him up. But, if that's all you'd done, I couldn't forgive that, but I could be a bigger man, overlook it, and just shelter him, protect him from your words. No, you made it worse.

You mentioned his sister, Kuina.

You  _knew_  how much Zoro loved her, how much he blamed himself for her death, and yet you brought her name into this. You told him it was his fault she died. Like hell it was! Kuina had cancer, it wasn't something Zoro could control, or fight. It wasn't anybody's fault that Kuina got cancer, she just got dealt a shitty hand in life. Yet you blamed him for her death, twisting the knife in deep, adding to his grief. Did it make you feel better about yourself when you told Zoro that Kuina died because Zoro was a faggot? Did you enjoy telling him Kuina died because Zoro was so weak that he couldn't even beat Mihawk? Did you enjoy telling Zoro that Kuina was probably suffering in heaven because Zoro was a shameful person and that she would have been ashamed of him if she were still alive today? How much of a man did you feel like when you told Zoro this? Did it satisfy you? Make you happy to see Zoro so broken?

Words hurt.

Especially Zoro. Zoro's always so strong, but you knew what would hurt him, how to twist the knife just right so that it would hurt Zoro.

In case you were wondering how you did, you did a good job. A really good job.

I know that you did get some just desserts after everyone found out about how you used Kuina against Zoro. Not even Zoro could stop us from going after you, and he tried, believe me he did. I led the charge of course. Luffy enjoyed helping me. So did Nami. Robin did too. But then, you know that. I wonder how you're paying off the hospital bills? When Luffy broke your jaw, did it hurt? I hope it did. How about your legs? Your arms? I enjoyed breaking those. But I can't take all the credit. Robin must have been especially terrifying when she whispered all those things in your ear. To this day. I'm still too scared to ask her what she said to you, and I probably never will. Luffy, and I enjoyed putting you in the hospital. Robin got to enjoy scaring you, because even though she never says it out loud, she loves Zoro like a younger brother, and she's very protective of him, even if he doesn't always know it. I know a small part of you must still be hurting all this time later. Nami was the one who bankrupted you, in case you were wondering. She's always been very good with money and numbers. When Nami's vindictive and angry, she's even better. She may be an accountant, but if she wanted to, she could easily set up and run a profitable loan sharking business on her own. She's that good, something I know you're intimately familiar with, if you've seen your bank account and apartment recently.

But if you think your recovery will be bad, it's nothing like what you did to Zoro, and how you left him. The first month after you broke up with him, Zoro was self-destructive, and he punished himself harshly for being so weak. He fought anybody and everybody that would fight him. He ended up in jail a couple of times because of fighting or his drinking. We almost lost him a couple of times during the first month. Still, with time, his friends, myself included managed to piece him back together, to hold him up when he needed us. Because you see, we love him. He's family, and we take care of family. Regardless of how we're related.

A month later, Zoro and I started dating. It was difficult at first. Zoro kept throwing himself into it, only to suddenly pull away, like he expected me to hurt him. I would never do that. I've been waiting so long for Zoro, that I would never willingly hurt him like you did. I care about him too much to lose him. But, it's hard. We've been officially dating for four months now. Things are slow, and that's okay with me. Zoro is still fragile. He won't admit it out loud, but every so often, he thinks of your words, and of Kuina, and he'll get this expression on his face. Most people don't notice it, but I do. His brow furrows, and he grits his teeth, he looks as if he's scowling, and he is, but he's thinking too. He questions himself sometimes, looks at himself and wonders if Kuina would have been proud of him, if Kuina died because he was gay. Those days, he spends the day at the gym and doesn't come home until an hour after the gym's closed, and even then, he's still especially sensitive. Those days we spend the time together, touching discreetly, gently, subtley. Nothing sexual, Zoro's not strong enough for that yet, just cuddling, or simple sitting next to each other. That's all. But Zoro spends the time pressed against me as often as he can. When we cuddle those nights, I hold him as he clings to me, and shakes, as he sobs quietly into my chest, even though he doesn't cry tears anymore.

He's getting better, and those words have scarred him permanently, hurt him badly, but with time, those wounds will heal. He'll never forget, I don't expect him to, but with time, I hope that Zoro's pain will fade, and you'll be nothing but a bitter memory for him that only makes him ache with a distant pain.

Zoro's pain, with time, care and love, will fade. Yours? I hope it never fades. I hope you spend the rest of your life struggling to get out of debt. I hope that when you wake up every morning, your joints ache and hurt badly from where we broke them. I hope you have to pay for years of physical therapy to get the fingers we broke working properly. Most of all, I hope you never forget how you hurt Zoro and never hurt another person like you hurt Zoro, again.

So if you ever decide to come looking for him again don't bother, because he won't be there. When you finally realize what you've lost, and you want him back, he won't want you anymore, because he'll have me. All of me. So, if you ever realize what you've lost, and you come looking, I'll tell you where you can find him. You'll find him next to me.

And I'll never let him go.


	5. The contest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahhaa. This is me trying to be funny(I'm not, I know). Anyways, I hope you enjoy it!

Sanji was fucking pissed.

That shitty geezer he called a father, Zeff, had tricked him!

Zeff had called Sanji last night saying a good friend of his had asked Zeff to go judge a swimsuit contest. Sanji snorted at the memory. Swimsuit contest his ass! Sanji had refused at first, but when Zeff had mentioned that all the contestants were women, Sanji had immediately volunteered to go. Beautiful ladies in beautiful swimsuits? Of course he would go! Sanji was a ladies man of course! Besides, he had to go to make sure that each and every beautiful lady was treated fairly and honestly during the contest. Something he quite seriously told Zeff over the phone too! Yes, women were his weakness, and he enjoyed doting on them.

After hanging up with Zeff, Sanji had spent some time that evening fantasizing about the women in  _very_  skimpy swimsuits. Which of course had lead to Sanji having to jerk off.

He'd gone to bed that night sated, and excited for the contest the next morning.

Imagine his surprise when he saw the banner proudly declaring ' _Men's bodybuilding contest!_ ' He'd stopped where he stood, just in front of the banner staring at it in shock. He'd dressed up in one of his best day to day suits too, a three piece suit with a black jacket, a royal blue vest underneath, with a crisp, white button down shirt. His tie was a nice light blue, complimenting the vest he worse. Although, when Sanji saw the contest, he'd peeled his jacket off and removed the vest. Tossing the vest into the backseat of his small four door sedan, he glared at the banner. If he was judging men, he didn't think the apes would be able to recognize his suits. Still, a part of Sanji was hopeful that the contest was for body building women. Well, there was only one way to find out, wasn't there?

With a deep breath Sanji strode inside the building, already the place was crowded with people trying to get in to see the contest, or with people milling about. Sanji's ears reddened as he walked towards the table that had been set up to collect and process the payment for the entrance fees. Seeing as it was being run by two young men, one with pink hair and one with blonde hair, Sanji grit his teeth and said politely to the pink haired male "Excuse me, I'm Sanji Black-"

The boy with pink hair looked up, and Sanji was overcome by the huge glasses on the other male's face. These glasses were round, circular, and seemed as if they were bigger than the kid's eyes. Blinking, Sanji noticed the name tag on the boy's chest reading 'Coby'. Whatever, Sanji didn't need to know the kid's name after this contest was over. Coby blinked and said "Ah! You're here!" He turned to the blonde man next to him and said "Helmeppo, where's Mr. Black's name tag? He's one of the judges." While the kid Coby had called Helmeppo looked for Sanji's badge, Coby turned to Sanji and said "Didn't anyone tell you? You're supposed to have been here an hour ago!"

An hour ago? Sanji shook his head and said "No, no one told me. I'm filling in for my shitty father, he had to bow out and take care of some stuff at work. I'm here in his place, he only told me what time I had to be here and what I was doing." Coby nodded his head, understanding completely. He'd heard of Zeff, and Sanji, from a friend of a friend of a friend's ex-best friend's girlfriend. They'd said that Sanji was a flirt, and apparently quite annoying about women, but it was none of his business.

When Helmeppo handed Coby the name tag, Coby handed it over to Sanji and said "Once you pin your badge on, please go backstage and look for the other two judges. Their names are Franky and Shanks. Don't worry, they'll be hard to miss, so if you go back there, you should be able to spot them quickly!" Sanji nodded and took his badge with a muttered "Thanks" before entering the auditorium.

Looking around the auditorium, Sanji could already tell that that place was almost full. Was male bodybuilding really that popular? He couldn't see the appeal or the charm of it, he really couldn't. Men didn't have the same appeal as women did. Women were beautiful, elegant creatures that were fragile, delicate and deserved to be worshipped and served! Ah yes, women were far better than men! Shaking his head, Sanji made his way down the steps, he had to get to the back and meet the fellow judges so that he could figure out what he was supposed to do.

It turned out that the judges were indeed noticeable. Franky, a speedo wearing guy with blue hair looked like a body builder himself. Sanji could live without the guy shouting "Suuuuppppeeerrr!" every other sentence though. Shanks seemed to be an alright, and somewhat normal guy. He was really dark and cranky though, but Sanji learned from Franky's not so subtle 'super!' whisper that Shanks was hungover and that was his default hungover expression. That didn't reassure Sanji one bit. He was judging a contest with a super ex-bodybuilder, and a hungover guy? Great. He'd clearly be the voice of reason between the three of them. Still, even though Sanji wanted to ring Zeff's neck, he had to fulfill his obligations to the judging. He'd promised Zeff he'd do it. He muttered under his breath "Shitty geezer!"

"What was that Sanji-Bro?" Franky asked, having been distracted from his long-winded speech about the judging and how he came to be involved. Sanji looked up and shook his head. He said quickly "Ah! No, no, it's nothing! I was just wondering how we were supposed to judge the contestants?"

Franky grinned and said "It's suuuuuper simple, Sanji-bro! We just judge each contestant individually and then at the end of the first round, he take the cards with the highest ratings and we judge from there until we have a final round where the top ten bodybuilders pose for us again with their super muscles, and we rank them! It's super simple, Sanji-bro!" Sanji had to resist rubbing his temples. He could tell that this contest would end up giving him a headache, he had definitely not planned on spending his sunday this way. Not at all. Franky interrupted his thoughts by asking "You alright, Sanji-bro?"

Sanji looked up and said waving the other male off "Yeah, I'll be fine. Will Shanks be okay to judge though?" He didn't know how well a hungover guy could judge a contest, so he wondered if Shanks would really be okay to fairly judge this contest or whatever. Franky grinned and said "Shanks just went to get a beer, and then after that, he'll be super!"

Definitely not reassuring.

Well, whatever. Sanji grumbled "Let's just go and get this done."

* * *

If Sanji had expected this contest to be fast, he had another thing coming. THIRTY-TWO CONTESTANTS?! Sanji hadn't been prepared when he'd seen those numbers, but, well, it was to be expected he supposed. Well, he didn't know for sure if it was. After all, how many bodybuilders would actually bother to show up for this contest? Apparently thirty. When the first ten contestants had come out one after the other, Sanji hadn't been all that impressed. Sure, they were muscular and musclebound, some were good enough to inspire Franky to cry with tears of 'super!' praise for their muscles. Sanji on the other hand had ranked them with little to no interest. Each of them had had decent muscles, but they weren't that impressive. Sanji hadn't seen any appeal in them.

It was when contestant number thirty came out that Sanji finally started to see some appeal in this judging thing. Before this contestant, all the other meatheads had been spray-tanned meatheads, with gelled back hair and greasy bodies. They really looked like they'd been auditioning to be on the jersey shore with Snooki, and her friends. Not that there was anything wrong with a beautiful lady dressing how she wanted! He just thought that no matter the gender, man or woman, orange spray tans looked ridiculously stupid and fake.

However, contestant thirty had no such problem. According to the sheet, the man's name was Roronoa Zoro. Zoro's body was all tan, in a way that was clearly natural. There were no tan lines to be seen from the judge's table, and something about the man's posture told Sanji that the man had genetics to thank for his tan. The next thing Sanji noticed, besides Zoro's muscles and skin, was the green hair that was a buzz cut growing out, allowing his hair to stick out in every direction. There was obviously some gel in Zoro's hair to muss it up and give it the 'I just rolled out of bed look', but it didn't look all slimy and fake like the other bodybuilders. Sanji then noticed the cocky smirk on Zoro's face, along with the three gold earrings dangling from the male's left ear lobe. As Sanji studied the male's face, he briefly wondered how Zoro had gotten the scar over his left eye. The pronounced scar slashed diagonally over Zoro's chest was curious as well.

When Sanji's eyes met Zoro's, he flushed as the man's cocky smirk turned into a cocky grin, as if Zoro realized Sanji was doing more than 'judging'. Before Sanji could look away, Franky leaned over and whispered in Sanji's ear "Sanji-bro, are you okay? Your nose is bleeding."

Shit! Sanji blused furiously and pulled out a packet of tissues to blot the blood from his nose. With the one hand holding the tissue to his nose, the other hand discreetly adjusted his pants, easing them a bit to make it more comfortable for the erection he was currently sporting thanks to the bodybuilder currently on stage. Turning his attention to the ranking sheet for Zoro, Sanji looked up as an idea came to him. Wiping the last of the blood from his nose, Sanji tossed the bloody tissue into the small garbage bin by the judge's table. Satisfied his face was clean, he looked right back at Zoro and offered a confident smirk. Filling out Zoro's ranking sheet with the highest marks he could possibly give, he looked back up at Zoro.

After the contest was over, he'd have to thank Zeff for asking him to judge this contest. But first, he'd have to get Zoro's number, and see if they could have a _private_  judging session without the custom black speedo every bodybuilder in this contest had to wear. Sanji would make sure to judge  _everything_ Zoro's body had to offer before giving the man a different sort of first prize.

Sanji would definitely be a very strict judge.

Sanji's smirk turned into almost a leer as he watched Zoro finish posing and start to march off stage, still smirking confidently as he went. Sanji couldn't wait for this contest to be over.

After all, he was going to be doing some private judging later on, if Zoro's knowing smirk was anything to go by.


	6. The last adventure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this was inspired by a one page comic-thing I saw. I can't even find it anymore! Oh well, I hope you like it!

After the Rumbar Pirates, Brook had promised himself that the Strawhat crew would be the last pirate crew he would ever join.

It had been a good run, no, a  _great_  run really. They had gotten so far. Luffy had been a great captain, and the crew had been wonderful. After floating in the mists of Thriller Bark for so long, the company of the Strawhat crew had been like a breath of fresh air for his lungs- Ah! He was a skeleton, so he had no lungs. Yohohohoho. Skull joke. Somehow, that thought felt...bitter. With the scene before him, it was too painful to think about.

They had been traveling on towards their next adventure when the marines had attacked them. Brook didn't think anything of it, none of the crew did. Of course Usopp, and Chopper panicked, as per usual, but even then, there was a confidence in the crew. They had spent two years training, improving themselves, and their skills, and they routinely beat the marines. So everything should have gone smoothly and been fine.

It wasn't.

Sure, they had beaten the marines, sent them all flying, but what they hadn't know at the time, what Marines were probably just now figuring out themselves, was that one of the crews on one of the many ships that had attacked them, had been sick. Neither side had know, so they'd fought, coming into contact with the sick crewmen, and spreading it to the other crew members. Brook was the only one that hadn't been affected, he was already dead after all. Whatever the illness was, they didn't know, but it had been quick.

Four days after the attack, Chopper was the first to fall sick, the poor little reindeer didn't know what hit him. He'd been fine for those first three days, it even seemed that he was getting better. Four days later, he was dead. By then, Nami and Usopp were already sick. Without their doctor, the crew was helpless, but still, everyone tried to help them, but without their navigator and their doctor, it was hard. On the fourth day, Nami fell into a coma, and she never woke up. She simply passed away in her sleep on the seventh day. For Usopp it was different. He seemed to be in a great deal of pain. Screaming, always screaming. He couldn't even speak, his eyes were blood shot, and he screamed so much, in so much pain that the remainder of the crew had to discuss what to do. It was already clear that Usopp was suffering. Blood leaked out of his eyes, ears, nose and mouth, and he wouldn't eat anything, in fact, they could barely get him to drink water. When Usopp wasn't screaming in agony, he was unconscious from all the pain and screaming.

They killed him in his sleep.

It was a mercy.

But it felt like a sin.

To kill one of your own nakama in their sleep, when they couldn't defend themselves. But, it had to be done. Usopp was in pain, and there was no way they could get to an island in time to find a cure. At first, Zoro, Sanji and Robin had volunteered to be the one to free Usopp from his pain, Zoro was the first mate, he should have been the one to do it, he'd argued. Sanji had argued that he should do it because he didn't want to stain anyone else with taking a Nakama's life. Robin had volunteered because she was a former assassin for the government, so killing was a lot easier for her, nakama or not. However, Luffy had refused. "I am the captain, and Usopp is nakama." That was his reasoning. Luffy had taken Usopp on this voyage, and because he was the one who had asked Usopp to come, he'd been the one to do it.

Brook knew the weight of this decision, so he'd followed after Luffy, to help Luffy, in case he needed help.

He didn't.

Luffy had simply done what Robin had showed him and snapped Usopp's neck. Quick, and painless. It was as if Usopp was still sleeping. But the tears streaming down Luffy's face said otherwise. Brook didn't know how to comfort Luffy, so instead, he just stepped aside and followed after Luffy when he left the sick bay.

After that, Zoro went into the infirmary, and neatly wrapped Usopp up in a white cloth, like a shroud and gently carried his body to the empty storage room where Franky had set aside a special space for the bodies of their dead nakama. They were going to find the closest island and bury them there, that was what Luffy had decided. No one had bothered to question it. In fact, Brook thought that that would be a good idea, because when the Rumbar pirates had died, he'd had their bodies with him on the ship as they sailed, and instead of comfort, knowing their bodies weren't at peace had only brought him pain.

Franky was the next to go. It was a quick death. In fact, no one had even known he was sick, in fact, it seemed as if Franky hadn't even known he was sick. He'd been sitting at the kitchen table, trying to cheer the crew up, in place of Usopp and Chopper when he'd died. Franky had just done his "Super!" pose, when with a choked gasp of pain, he'd fallen over, dead at the crew's feet, his expression surprised as everyone else's. No one had expected that, not even him.

It took Zoro and Sanji to heave Franky's body below deck to rest him with the others.

Robin, Sanji, Zoro, Luffy and him.

They were the only ones left.

Robin was the next to go. Two days after Franky's death, she'd simply walked out of the women's quarters and up to the weight room where Zoro was on watch and had told him "I'm going to the infirmary." That said, she'd gone back down and straight into the infirmary. It was now known as the quarantine room. But, it was easy to see that everyone, Luffy included, knew that it was too late. They were all just waiting now. Waiting to die.

Robin didn't even make it to the seven day mark. She chose to die in her own way. She'd walked out on deck one morning, the fourth day, and had said her goodbyes. After that, she'd watched the sun for an hour before swallowing a bottle of pills and passing away peacefully, as if she were just falling asleep.

The ship is so big now. There's hardly anybody left. Sanji is no longer banging around in the kitchen as much. Zoro isn't sleeping as much either. Instead, he's constantly awake, always alert, as if he's expecting something to happen, as if he's hoping that he'll see something that will allow the dead crew members to come back to life and they can continue sailing, to carry on their dreams, to pick up where they left off. But no such hope was in sight and wouldn't be for a long time. We all knew that.

Zoro was the next one to get sick. He wasn't even afraid, he simply accepted it, like it was fate. Zoro was funny like that. He believed in nothing but himself and his abilities, but at the same time he believed in fate. Zoro was an interesting person in that way. But when Zoro got sick, he bravely tried to carry on, to pretend he wasn't sick, but when Sanji kicked him, sending Zoro clear across the deck, we all knew. We could tell in the way Zoro's breath labored as he struggled to get up. He tried to pretend other wise, that he was fine, but we all knew differently. He was sick.

The second strongest member of the strawhat crew was dying.

Luffy tried to be there for Zoro, like he'd been there for everyone else. But Sanji wouldn't let him. "No need for you to get sick too, Luffy." Luffy had protested, saying that he wanted to take care of Zoro, his nakama. But Sanji had refused by firmly shutting the door and locking it. For a while now, when everyone had still been alive, we'd all suspected that there had been something more between the cook and the swordsman. Something more than those nasty fights, those angry insults. But they had never said anything about it, never given so much as a hint. Still, in the end, they were together.

On the seventh day, Sanji came out of the infirmary, thin, pale, and looking exhausted, his once pristine suit was wrinkled and dirty. His expression said what we already knew. Zoro was dead. When I offered to bring Zoro's body down to the hold, Sanji had refused. He'd do it himself. Sanji, with more care and affection than he'd ever shown Zoro in life, or at least, that we'd ever seen, carried Zoro below deck and laid him to rest besides the bodies of our other crew members.

No one said anything.

Instead, I played Bink's Sake not to cheer them up, but because it somehow comforted me. It was the last song I'd played with the Rumbar pirates, and I wanted it to somehow give comfort to the Strawhat pirates in our final days.

Nobody slept that night.

Instead, Luffy, Sanji and I all stayed on deck. The Thousand Sunny was basically drifting now anyways, no one had the heart to try and steer it anymore.

Sanji leaned against the rail, smoking a cigarette, and I, well, I was playing Bink's Sake once more. Luffy just sat there, like he didn't know what to do with himself, which, he probably didn't. His nakama, his precious nakama were dying, and he couldn't help them. All he had left was Sanji and I, but even then, there was nothing we could do, Sanji's death, my death, and even Luffy's were inevitable, it wasn't something we could stop. If the illness was ravaging us this horribly, a morbid sense of curiosity made me wonder how it was affecting the marine's on the ship that had spread the illness to us. I wonder if they were losing all their people, or if they had a cure. A part of me hoped they didn't. I wanted them to suffer and lose their crew like we had.

That morning, at sunrise, Sanji quietly put his cigarette out. He nodded to me once, and I smiled and continued to play. I could see from his expression what he wanted to do, and that I couldn't tell Luffy because Luffy would try to stop him. Sanji wasn't even sick, as far as I could tell, but then, maybe he was sick? I wasn't sure. Still, before Sanji walked past a snoring Luffy, he quietly picked up the strawhat and placed it on Luffy's chest. He then ruffled Luffy's hair, offering a silent goodbye to his Captain. Then, without even looking back, Sanji went below deck and was gone. When I went down to check on him later, I found Sanji curled in Zoro's embrace. I could see his chest rising and falling, as he slept, curled against his beloved. I knew he wouldn't wake up again. He didn't want to. Zoro was gone, and he knew that it wouldn't be long before he too got sick and died, so he chose to die in the arms of the man he loved, something I truly admired him for.

Now it was just Luffy and I.

I tried to cheer Luffy up, but it didn't help. There was only the two of us now.

Three days later, Luffy finally spoke at breakfast, something I, with my limited cooking knowledge had made. It wasn't anything like what Sanji made, but it was okay nonetheless. "Brook... I'm sick too."

Luffy's voice was hoarse, like he'd been crying a long time, and I could tell he had, because I had been too. "What shall we do then, Luffy-san?"

Luffy, for all his immaturity stared at me with an expression that could only be described as wise beyond his years. He seemed to mull over his answer for awhile, trying to decide the best course of action. Finally, he said "I don't want the marines to get the Sunny, and I don't want them to touch my nakama."

I could understand what Luffy was saying to some degree. The marines didn't love the Thousand Sunny like we did, and the bodies of the crew would only get desecrated and destroyed. They didn't deserve that disrespect or betrayal. So, I offered a suggestion, one I knew would give the crew a burial with the utmost respect, and the dignity they deserved. "We could bury them at sea, Luffy-san. We could burn the Thousand Sunny so that the marines don't get ahold of the ship. I too don't want the marines to touch the Thousand Sunny or our Nakama."

Luffy nodded and solemnly put his trade mark strawhat on his head. He said "Except Franky's body. This was his ship, his dream. I want him to go down with the ship."

I nodded my ahead and said just as solemnly "Yes, Luffy-san." Silence fell over us for awhile, and I finally asked "When would you like to do this, Luffy-san?"

Luffy seemed to mull it over for a moment before he answered "At sunset."

With that decided, we spent the day making the final preparations. Luffy and I cleaned the ship from top to bottom. Who knows, maybe we'd sail on this ship in the afterlife, and if we did, Luffy would need it to be in good shape for the journey. It took most of the day to clean the ship, that, as sunset came upon us, we made the final preparations. We lowered the anchor because the spot we were in was nice, the weather was warm, and nice, the kind of day that was good for a final goodbye. Luffy and I then moved Franky's body to the engineer's workshop, where he spent his time working. Next, we lowered each body, one at a time into the ocean. No words were said as we did this, but it was painful.

We lowered Zoro's and Sanji's bodies last. Luffy wanted to wrap them up in one white sheet. "Bury them at sea as they were found. Together." I agreed. After resting Zoro's swords at his side on the sheet, he moved Sanji to lie curled against Zoro's side as we'd found him. By then he was dead, hearbreak, and despair killing him in the end, not sickness. We lowered them carefully into the ocean depths. Hopefully they were resting with our other Nakama's bodies, but we didn't know.

Luffy spoke then, breaking the silence "Brook...Play one last song? To say goodbye?"

I could only fulfill his request. I said "Of course, Luffy-san." Walking over to the bench where my violin sat, I picked it up and played Bink's Sake one last time.

I'm sorry Laboon. It looks like I won't be able to fulfill that promise. I hope this final song reaches you in the end.

As I played, Luffy opened Sanji's lighter and clicked it on. Tossing it on the grass, it lit up almost instantly, thanks in part to the flammable nature of grass, and the flammable liquid we'd tossed all over the deck and ship. Below deck, and in every major room, we'd left some gunpowder, we wanted to make sure that in the end, the ship was completely destroyed, and no one would ever be able to use this ship. As I played, Luffy sang along, saying his goodbyes to the ship. His breathing was raspy, weak. He was dying and wouldn't last much longer. After the final chords drifted silent, I walked through the flames on the Sunny's deck and gently, lovingly set my violin down.

Turning, I walked back over to Luffy. Luffy stood on the ship's railing, staring at the water below, the sunset at our backs. Hopping up onto the railing next to him, Luffy offered a grin at me. Before I could question what he was doing, he'd leaped into my arms for a final hug. But, instead of letting go, like he'd expected, I held on. Carrying him in my arms bridal style, I finally heard the sound of the ship beginning to explode at my back. It seemed the gunpowder was finally catching, but it didn't matter, because, we were leaving anyways. Grinning at Luffy, I asked in my most cheerful voice "Luffy-san, are you ready to go on one last adventure?"

Luffy offered me his best smile, his brightest one, a smile I hadn't seen since every one first got sick and he said sounding faintly excited "Let's go!" He fixed the strawhat on his head one last time and once more wrapped his hands loosely around my neck.

I stepped off the railing, and together, with Luffy, the Thousand Sunny and the rest of our crew, sank into the ocean depths below.

As Brook sank into the ocean depths, he smiled.

The strawhat crew was the last crew he'd joined, and he was with them until the very end.

He wasn't lonely anymore.

_Yo-hohoho, Yo-hohoho,_

_Binkusu no sake wo, todoke ni yuku yo_

_Umikaze kimakase namimakase_

_Shio no mukou de, yuuhi mo sawagu_

_Sora nya wa wo kaku, tori no uta_


	7. Surprise(or how Sanji has never been more humiliated in his life)!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from tumblr by masteryoshi88: AU Zoro and Sanji get caught(having sex, making out, sneaking in, etc. You pick) by Zeff.

Zoro and Sanji had been dating for two years now. It had been rocky at first, fighting more than fucking, screaming and shouting instead of laughing and loving, but eh, they got the hang of this relationship shit after awhile. Well, the wake up call that they were getting too out of hand was when they'd both been thrown in jail overnight for a public disturbance. They'd bee fighting pretty badly, the usual sparring with Sanji's kicks, and Zoro's punches. Luckily the cops had thought that they were drunk and had just needed to sober up., so they'd been locked up over night to 'sober up'. In reality, Zoro never got drunk, and Sanji had only had one glass of wine, both parties were far from drunk, but that night in jail had been the wake up call they'd needed.

Now, two years later, they were together, and were better than ever. Their relationship was strong and steady, their sparring was done mostly in the gym or when they wanted a rough fuck. The sparring at the gym was a kind of foreplay sometimes. Sanji fondly remembered the time when they'd sparred at the D. brother's gym in basketball shorts. Luckily no one had been around then, otherwise they'd have come in to find Sanji snarling as he shoved Zoro's face into the mat as he fucked him from behind... Or worse, Zoro face fucking Sanji as he stood over him. Yeeeeeah, that had been an amazing fuck. Sanji couldn't help but leer at his lover who was too distracted to notice.

Sanji's mind moved back to the matter at hand. If he thought about that night any more than he already had, he'd cream his pants before they even got home, and he wanted to cream Zoro's ass...or stomach, or in Zoro's mouth. Basically, as long as his cum landed somewhere on Zoro, he would be really fucking happy. Con-fucking-gratulations to him. Well, Sanji amended mentally, they were definitely going to be doing a lot of fucking. Little Sanji was practically  _drooling_ in anticipation. He grinned to himself as they drove home fr-"LEFT YOU SHITTY MARIMO, I SAID FUCKING LEFT! NO! THAT'S YOUR FUCKING RIGHT!" Maybe he should have been the one to drive them home. At least if he'd driven, they'd be home and fucking by now. Seeeeeeeeex. Yep, Sanji was definitely not thinking about anything else but sex. He shook his head, trying to clear it. He had to at least focus until they got home.

They'd gone out for an early dinner at a nice japanese restaurant to celebrate the fact that Sanji had gotten that loan from the bank to start his own restaurant. He liked working with his father, Zeff, but shit, he was twenty-six years old, he grew up with the Baratie, but it was time he went out and got his own restaurant. He would never be able to thank his adoptive father for helping him for so long, but Sanji wanted to make the shitty geezer proud.

It was this desire that had driven him to apply for a loan from the bank. He'd still work at the Baratie until Zeff could either replace him, or his restaurant was finished and opened. For now, that was the plan. Zoro would keep his job as a kendo instructor since Zoro didn't have an interest in helping to run the restaurant. He'd help Sanji with the heavy lifting, and kicking out unruly restaurant guests, as well as catching people that tried to skip out on the bill. Other than that, Zoro had assured Sanji that the restaurant was his baby.

Such had been the topic of discussion at dinner. But over dessert, Zoro had something that really made an impression on Sanji. It wasn't anything particularly sappy, or romantic, because realistically, the shitty marimo wasn't capable of that with out some(a lot) of help.

"I can't just make a dessert the Baratie makes, shitty marimo! I'm not creating another 'Baratie'. I'm calling the restaurant 'All Blue', shit head, and if I have a menu item like the Baratie has, people are just gonna think that my restaurant is just another branch of the shitty geezer's!" Sanji huffed as he took a bite of his delicious fruit parfait, noticing the fact that they'd overdone it a bit with the sugar, and that the yogurt part of the parfait was a little too chalky. If he'd made it, he'd have added a lot less sugar, used a tart fruit and made the yogurt way more creamy.

Zoro snorted, uncomfortably yanking on the collar of his shirt. Shit he hated new shirts, but the shit cook wanted to go somewhere nicer than usual to celebrate, so he'd had no choice. Forgetting what he wanted to say, Zoro was silent for a moment. Finally remembering what he wanted to say, he shot back "I never said that, shit-cook! All these restaurants have same things on the menu, don't they? But each place makes it with different ingredients, like you're always bitching at me. So why not do the same with Baratie?"

Zoro grumbled under his breath as Sanji stole a bite of the creme brulee Zoro was eating. Zoro hardly had a sweet tooth, but creme brulee wasn't too sweet for Zoro's taste buds, and Sanji wanted it, so he'd ordered it. Sanji said, ignoring Zoro's previous words, distracted by the dessert "Mmm. I like their creme brulee, I'll make some for you sometime. What do you think, Zoro?"

The change in topic didn't surprise Zoro. Now that Sanji was finally one step closer to actually getting the restaurant, he was already thinking about the menu. Zoro answered without thinking "I don't care what you make, shit cook. If you're the one who made it, I'll eat it, even if it tastes like shit. As long as you're the one who made it, I'll eat it."

When Sanji didn't answer, Zoro had been concerned for a moment, wondering if he'd said something wrong. However, when he looked over at Sanji, Sanji's expression was hard to describe. "O-Oi c-" Sanji interrupted and said "Zoro, shut up." Lowering his voice an octave, to a sexy little purr that never failed to get Zoro's blood pumping south, he purred "Let's go home."

Zoro swallowed thickly, his pants tightening as he felt his body flush with arousal. Thank god he'd chosen to wear a pair of jeans that were loose enough to hide his erection, otherwise walking out of this restaurant would have been awkward. Before he could even respond by flagging down a waitress for the bill, Sanji had already done so, clearly thinking ahead.

After paying the bill, they'd rushed to the car, and were now trying to get home as fast as the speed limit would allow. Although getting home was a bit difficult because Zoro kept getting lost, and Sanji kept distracting Zoro by groping his erection through his pants.

Somehow, after a lot of shouting, fondling and groping, they made it home. Getting out of the car, Zoro was quick to walk around the car and yank Sanji into a kiss, not caring that he'd had to pull the male up and out of the car into the kiss. Breaking the kiss briefly so that Sanji could get fully out of the car, he shut the car door behind Sanji, locking the car as they stumbled back and up on the sidewalk.

Stumbling up the stairs towards their apartment, Sanji and Zoro couldn't stop touching each other, their hands roaming each other's bodies as they moved. They stopped their heated carresses only when they passed a grouped of young kids on one of the floors. However, once they reached the fourth floor, they were all over each other again, hot and heavy. Stumbling back, an "Mmmph!" escaped Sanji's lips as he was slammed against the wall, Zoro's hands on either side of his head caging him in. Not that Sanji wanted to get away.

Breaking the kiss, Sanji fumbled with Zoro's shirt, but Zoro's hands pushed his away. Yanking his shirt over his head, Zoro kept his shirt in one hand as he surged forward to resuming kissing Sanji once more, his one hand fumbling with the buttons on Sanji's shirt. Sanji fumbled with the rest of the buttons on his shirt, abandoning the task once his shirt hung open as they stumbled towards the door to their apartment.

Sanji wrapped his legs around Zoro's waist as Zoro fumbled with the keys to their apartment, one hand holding his shirt and the other hand automatically moving to cup Sanji's bottom. Finally, Zoro managed to open the door, and as they stumbled into the dark apartment, their touches got a little more intimate when the lights suddenly flicked on.

"Surprise!"

"Ack! My eyes!

"Ohmygod!"

"Shishishi, Zoro and Sanji are wrestling!"

Was the general din that registered in their brains after the lights flicking on. Breaking the kiss, Sanji looked startled, and maybe just a teensy bit pissed. Ordinarily, he loved seeing his friends, but he couldn't help but let a muffled whine escape his throat when he realized that this meant that the hot, sweaty, wall shaking, amazing, Zoro writhing wantonly beneath him, sucking Zoro's cock, fantastic, exhausting sex was put on hold indefinitely. Clearing his throat quietly, Sanji looked over the crowd in their apartment, Sanji recognized through the haze of lust that was rapidly clearing, their friends all standing there. He noticed the 'Congratulations!' banner as well. Sanji vaguely remembered telling Nami and Luffy about getting the loan for the restaurant when they'd called him to invite Zoro and him to dinner earlier this evening. Sanji had had to decline, seeing as he and Zoro were going out for dinner already, and Zoro was really looking forward to the restaurant. Now that Sanji thought about it, Nami had a key to their apartment, and Luffy was probably the one that insisted on throwing a party to celebrate.

Well, shit.

Before Sanji could say anything, Zoro had unceremoniously dropped him, causing Sanji to yelp in surprise at being dropped. He snarled "Oi shithead! The fuck was that for?" Sanji got to his feet dusting his butt off. Realizing that the sex they'd been looking forward too only minutes before wasn't going to happen, Sanji started to button his shirt up, when it occurred to him that Zoro hadn't answered him. He asked "Marimo?"

Zoro made a soft noise in his throat of alarm, and Sanji followed his gaze until his own landed on Zeff. Zeff looked plenty amused at this point, and he was quite noticeably smirking. Stroking his beard once, he said "When I heard my eggplant got the loan for his first shitty restaurant, I thought I'd join the party to congratulate you, brat, but it seems you prefer Zoro's congratulations to mine, eh, you shitty eggplant?"

Sanji gaped, staring at his adoptive father.

Turning to look at Zoro, they shared a wordless exchange. Well, not really a wordless exchange, more like they'd come to agreement.

_They were well, and truly, fucked._

Zeff was  _never_  going to let them live this down.


	8. His secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Ace/Akainu, so be warned! This was inspired by maritimesarcophagus's piece on tumblr. :3

He awoke to stirring next to him.

No, not stirring, more like  _thrashing._  As if his bed mate was trapped in the embrace of something dark.

He rolled over and came face to face with a scarred and tattooed back.

Quietly, he reached out and let his fingers lightly trace over his companion's back. It was hard to tell what tattoo had been there originally, most of it having been obliterated by the scar. What could still be seen of the tattoo the half of four purple bones. Each bone pointed in a direction, north, east, south and west. The curve of what looked to be a skull sprouted from the starburst scarred back.

Portgas D. Ace

When Akainu shoved his fist through Ace's chest, aiming for Luffy, he had felt something for the pirate. Something akin to a grudging respect. Maybe. Pirates were evil people. They killed people, plundered villages, pirates were scum. At least, that's what Akainu had thought at first. However, upon that instant, when his fist was shoved clean through Ace's chest, he grudgingly admitted that some pirates were worthy of some respect. Risking your own life to save your brother's? It was against everything Akainu believed a pirate to be. Pirates were supposed to have loyalty to none, sell out their mothers and fathers before their own crew, and yet, there before him, stood a pirate, Portgas D. Ace, who stood as a shield for his brother.

Akainu grudgingly admitted that for a pirate, Gol D. Roger's kid wasn't half bad.

Still, the deed was done and Ace was dead, or so he'd thought.

It wasn't until the heart pirates had made their escape with Portgas's little brother that Akainu had noticed. A spark, there was something there, something flickering in Ace's body. Nobody else seemed to notice it. So, in the pretense of securing the body for the Marine's, Akainu had taken Ace's body. Taken him away from the war where he was presumed dead, away from the world where his brother wept uncontrollably.

He locked him away.

Akainu locked Ace away in a remote island prison under the pretense of a mission of his own choosing. There, Akainu tended to Ace, taking care of him, nursing him back to health. It had been hell at first. Numerous times the fire fisted brat had tried to roast him and numerous times Akainu had put the brat down. Their relationship had been nothing but weak fighting and as Ace got better, his will to live, his will to fight against his captor grew. Akainu was still strong, putting Ace down was easy. Soon enough though, Ace was better, but by then it was too late.

Akainu had fallen hard for the damn pirate.

That made him angry. Their first coupling hadn't been gentle. It had been violent. All flames and magma. All fire, anger, and heat. There had been nothing pleasant about their first time. It had been merely something akin to relief between two devil fruit users who were angry. Angry about their entrapment, angry about falling for someone they weren't supposed to. It had been hell.

But, over time, rough hands, and angry words gave way to tender touches and loving words. They began to accept their feelings, accept each other. Their relationship had to remain secret though. To the world, Portgas D. Ace was dead. Gone. He died at marineford, saving the life of his brother, the life of the Strawhat crew's captain, saving Monkey D. Luffy. It had pained Ace to leave his brother with that burden, but, Akainu made it clear to Ace that he had no choice. If the world found out that Ace wasn't dead and was alive, he, and the rest of the marines would come down on Ace,  _hard._ No one would be able to save him either. Everyone he considered nakama would be too far away to come after him, and he couldn't fight all of the marine's off at once. Not even him, his lover.

Ace had cried then. Cried for his brother, cried for what he'd lost, what he'd had to give up. He grieved. Through his tears, Ace explained that, if he hadn't died, he would have probably ended up with Marco. Akainu had burned with jealousy at those words, but it wasn't the time to express that anger, or jealousy. Instead, he drew Ace into his arms and held his little lover, his little flame, close. He listened as Ace told him of how they'd been getting closer before he'd been captured, before he'd even left on the search for the damn Blackbeard. If Ace noticed how much tighter Sakazuki squeezed, he didn't say anything. Instead, he'd just sobbed into Sakazuki's chest.

Things weren't better after that confession, and Ace didn't sleep any easier. He still had nightmares of the time that Sakazuki punched his fist through Ace's chest nearly killing him. Waking Ace up from the nightmare was the hardest. Ace would always lash out, never actually hurting Sakazuki beyond a bruise here or there occasionally, but it was still dangerous or painful to wake Ace up.

As if feeling the fingers on his back, the male thrashed a little bit more, jerking away from the fingers that had been absentmindedly tracing over his back. Sakazuki drew his hand back as Ace rolled over in his sleep.

"Mmnnnh! ... No! ...Help... I can't... Help me... Please..." Ace cried out in his sleep.

Sakazuki sighed and drew Ace in close, cradling the sleeping Ace against his own chest. At the same time, he reached down and untangled Ace's bare legs from the sheets he'd tangled himself up in. They'd gone to bed on a good note, worn out from the welcome back sex and the love making. Sakazuki had had to go out on a mission for the marines, but he'd always raced back to Ace's side when he could. Most of the time, he took Ace with him, disguising his little flame as a marine, or stowing the male away in his cabin. It wasn't ideal, but he feared the time away from his lover. The fear that when he came back, Ace would be gone, always choked him up. He wasn't afraid of anything before he met Ace. But after meeting Ace, Sakazuki learned to be afraid. Learned to be afraid of his little flame leaving him, going back to the remnants of the whitebeard crew. Maybe it was a dark desire, but he craved the obliteration of the crew, to leave nothing behind that Ace could find himself attached to. The day that happened, maybe then he'd have Ace all to himself and the fear that Ace would one day leave him, would finally go away.

Sakazuki shook his head. Now wasn't the time to think that. Running his hand through Ace's hair, he said gently "Shhhh, wake up baby..." Ace stirred, brows furrowing as if he were going to wake up. But, when the male didn't wake up, he tried again. Continuing to run his hand through Ace's hair, he murmured "Little flame...wake up."

That seemed to garner a response from his lover. Cupping the back of Ace's head, Sakazuki felt a hand pressed against his chest, fingers spread and palm spread. His breath caught in his throat. Ace was getting stronger now, not strong enough to kill him yet, but stronger. He could still hurt him though. Ace murmured sleepily, seeming to stir "Hnnmuh? S-Saka-"

Sakazuki let out a silent breath of relief before he murmured reassuringly "Shh, it's okay, I got you. Everything will be alright, I'm here." Pressing a gentle kiss to Ace's forehead, Sakazuki's hand slid from the back of Ace's head to cup the scar mark, trapping Ace in a tighter embrace, he murmured "Go back to sleep... It was only a dream."

Already, Ace's hand was going limp as Ace started to fall back asleep.

Once Ace was fast asleep, Sakazuki murmured into the sleeping Ace's hair:

_"I'll never let you go, Portgas D. Ace. Never."_


	9. Meant for me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This song was inspired by random happy stuff, even if the story isn't.

"You...meant for me."

That was the last thing Zoro said to him.

Sanji stands there dumbly, like he can't believe what's happening.

He stares at nothing.

He  _sees_  nothing.

In the distance, like some far away dream, he hears the shouts of the rest of the strawhat crew. But, if he understands what they're saying, he doesn't say a word. Instead, he turns his gaze to the male on the floor in front of him. A part of Sanji's mind whispers insidiously ' _How do you know it's male?_ ' Yeah, how does he know it's male? All he can see is a giant pin cushion, if it was male, much less human, it doesn't look it now.

The next thing Sanji realizes, Chopper's shaking him, screaming at him.

"SANJI! SANJI! Zoro's been hurt! Aaaah! He's in shock! Doctor! Doctor!"

Shock. Those words cut through Sanji like a knife, and the strings that seemed to have been holding him are cut. In the distance, he hears Luffy screaming in rage, and fighting.

_Snip. Snip. Snip._

He falls to his knees in front of the man he now dimly recognizes as Zoro. Well, it was once Zoro. Zoro was a pin cushion now. It was all Sanji's fault.

They'd landed on the island, not expecting a welcome. But, Luffy had wandered off, chasing after the smell of food, or adventure, he couldn't remember which now. Luffy had ended up finding both. He'd been fed by this sweet, sweet girl. Luffy had taken a liking to her, and it wasn't long after that that trouble had brewed. The island was apparently ruled by yet another tyrannical ruler.

Of course the tyrannical ruler had sent some goons after the little girl for 'helping' pirates. Naturally, Luffy had wanted to beat the guy to death. So, after getting some information out of some low level members of government, they'd made their way to the castle in search of this tyrannical ruler to, as Luffy put it, "beat him up." They'd gotten lost, and separated of course. Naturally, Zoro and Sanji had ended up together fighting against two separate members of the ruler's staff, and of course, fighting with each other.

Zoro's opponent had been a guy that, coincidentally wielded katanas. Zoro had been excited, like a rampaging beast with a killer blood thirst. Not only that, but apparently this opponent, this guy, who kept finishing his sentences with "Kawaiii~!" was a decent fighter. Zoro was positively thrilled. Any other time, and Sanji might have given Zoro shit for getting a hard on for a swordsman that finished his sentences with kawaii.

But, he didn't think of that, not when he'd been busy with his own opponent. A lovely buxom woman, graceful, cool, a beauty. HIs type of woman! He'd been excited. Sure, he didn't fight women, but he wasn't going to die for one either, no matter what he said. This woman's attacks relied on needles. Lots of them. According to her, she ate a devil fruit that allowed her to emit needles from her body.

It had been a one-sided fight with Sanji's vow to never kick a woman. All he could do was dodge and attempt to protect himself. That didn't stop her from landing a few good hits. Zoro had noticed, shouting his usual "Oi! Shit-cook! Fight her seriously!" Sanji had been angry, and had retorted "Shaddup, marimo! I don't hit beautiful ladies!" If Zoro had said anything else, Sanji hadn't noticed, he'd been distracted by a wave of needles coming at him.

After that, he'd done his best to evade, and try and reason with her, hoping that there was some good in her. But, he'd messed up. In the time he'd been trying to change her mind, Zoro had quite soundly defeated his opponent. Just, just as she'd flung a massive attack at Sanji after crippling him, he'd tried to move out of the way, raise a leg to keep the damage from his hands, but it was too late. A body interfered. Zoro's body.

Numb with shock, Sanji hadn't been able to react. That had been meant...for him. Yet... Yet the marimo sacrificed himself...for him? Why? Sanji and Zoro fought like cats and dogs, destroyed the ship. Sure they were nakama, but it had never occured to Sanji that Zoro would ever go that far for him. Never.

Reality came rushing back to him in that moment, and he gasped for breath, drawing a deep breath into his lungs. Chopper, who'd been examining Zoro while Brook, Franky, and Robin engaged the woman with Usopp providing long-distance back-up. Nami sat there with Chopper, helping him with Zoro. Chopper and Nami looked at Sanji briefly, their expressions worried.

Nami said "Sanji! You should have beaten her up! Don't go easy on her just because she's a woman...Sanji?" Sanji wasn't even looking at her, in fact, it was as if he didn't even see her. Sanji turned to Chopper and asked "H-How is he?" By Chopper's worried expression, he shook his head and said "We need to remove the needles, and I-I can stitch him up, b-but it doesn't look good." Sanji mutely nodded his head and said "Do whatever you can Chopper."

He got to his feet. Chopper's eyes widened "S-Sanji! You-" Sanji shook his head and said "It doesn't matter. Save him. I'll be okay." Sanji turned to Nami and said, a bitter smile curling his lips "N-Nami-swan, help Chopper."

He took out his pack of cigarettes and flicked the box open. Sticking one of the cancer sticks in his mouth, he lit it up. Exhaling, he plucked the cigarette from his lips. Sticking the cigarette from his mouth, he said more to himself as he walked forward "Never again." Pushing past Franky, Brook and Robin, he said to the woman "Never again."

The woman laughed, a sharp, shrill noise as she taunted "Hooo~. Are you finally going to fight lover-boy?" She laughed. Sanji said with an exhale "No." Before the woman could say a word, she was sent flying.

Everyone besides Luffy and Zoro stopped and stared. They had never seen Sanji  _willingly_  kick a woman. Sanji was relentless in his kicks. One attack after another. He didn't stop until the woman was unconscious and beaten into the ground. Spitting out his cigarette, he said venomously "Never again." He would never again let someone get hurt on his behalf because he couldn't fight a woman. Never again would he put the others in a bad situation because of a woman. From now on, any woman outside the crew would get his compassion, his mercy, but unless it was the will of his captain and the crew, he would never step in to save a woman again.

He'd learned from that mistake.

He took two steps forward, before his legs gave out and everything went dark.

* * *

When Zoro woke up, the first thing he noticed was that everything hurt. He could hardly bend his fingers from all the bandages. The bandages around his head itched too. But, he could only grunt in pain. Moving was impossible, for all his attempts to move, he could only twitch, and even that hurt.

From the infirmary entrance, he heard a familiar "Shitty marimo. You can't be up and moving yet, you've only been out for a week." Sanji carried a tray one handed and he walked into the room with a slight limp. Zoro tried to form words, but found his throat was too dry to even rasp. Sanji in this time set the tray down, revealing a surprise to Zoro. In place of Sanji's left hand was a bandaged stump. Sanji's hand, and a good portion of his forearm was missing, leaving a bendable stump at the elbow. Before Zoro could ask, a straw was pressed to his lips and Sanji said quietly "Drink. Slowly." Zoro obeyed, but he got greedy as the water soothed his parched throat.

Sensing this, Sanji pulled the cup away, ignoring Zoro's squawk of protest. Sanji said disapprovingly "Slowly you shitty marimo, doctor's orders." He fed Zoro the straw again, allowing Zoro to slowly sip some water. When Zoro had had enough, Sanji pulled the cup away. With a croak, Zoro asked "Your hand?" Sanji seemed briefly startled before a bitter smile came to his lips. He said "Yeah, shitty woman. I took one too many needles to my hand, and Chopper said that it was better to amputate rather than keep it, cause it would be more of a hindrance than a help. Wasn't much left of my hand anyways, so many needles had gone through it-" Sanji shook his head. He said "Nevermind."

Brightening with false cheerfulness, he said "But, Franky offered to make me a cyborg arm as soon as he got the parts, so we're just waiting for that. Until then, cooking will be difficult, and I'll be slower, but, things will work out." Zoro didn't say anything, knowing that right now wasn't the time. Besides, he was too weak to really say any more.

"That was meant for me." Sanji said quietly.

"I would have deserved it." Placing his hand against Zoro's bandaged chest, he said "Thank you." Zoro grunted in response. Nodding his head, Sanji said "Okay, I made you some soup, something that'll be easy to eat, and nutritious for your body's healing..."


	10. Untitled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know how to describe this.

He should have known this day would come….. When hope turned to ashes and love was lost. The sand beneath his boots felt distance, as if it were just barely out of reach.

He took a step forward, leaving behind his left boot.

Another step forward, and the loss of his right boot.

Another step saw him shedding his haramaki.

His shirt followed with the next step.

Until finally, standing ankle deep in the ocean waters, he left behind his pants, keeping the swords on their belt at his waist. He couldn't bear to part with them, it was too painful to leave them.

He'd thought he could be strong, that he could fight for his dream and keep the more personal wish, a hope, close to his heart. He couldn't.

Two months ago, he'd confessed to Sanji. He'd known it was an unrequited love, had accepted it even. But what he couldn't accept was that the very next day after his confession, Sanji had shown up, a gorgeous woman name Meryl on his arm, announcing that they were in love, and that somehow or another, they planned to be married. She was beautiful, and Zoro, heart breaking into a million pieces, was happy. Sanji had found someone to love him, finally, the male was going to get what he wanted.

Two months later, yesterday in fact, Sanji, with hearts in his eyes, and a glowing Meryl on his arm, had announced that Meryl was pregnant. Everyone had been happy, but Zoro, he just….couldn't. He died inside. They'd come to this tropical island to throw a party and celebrate. Yet here he was, alone, facing the setting sun, broken. He was pathetic and weak.

But, the heart wants what it wants, and it wanted Sanji.

Maybe this was selfish of him, but anything had to be better than the pain of this broken heart. Gripping the hilt reassuringly from Wado, he took a step forward, and then another.

Soon, the water was up to his waist, and then his neck, and finally, he found himself submerged beneath the ocean waves. He managed to get a few feet further and he came to a stop.

The ocean water here was warm, clear and blue. Staring up at the sky from the depths of the warm ocean, he slowly let a stream of air escape his mouth, the bubbles floating to the surface. He hoped Sanji would be happy, that their child was as beautiful as Meryl, as strong as Sanji, and was everything Sanji hoped for him.

Black spots danced along his vision, and he slowly closed his eyes. The last thought he had before the darkness completely overtook him was a sad, almost wistful:

_I loved him more than I realized, and that made me weak. Forgive me, Kuina, I wasn't strong enough._


	11. Please don't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet again inspired by yet another picture on tumblr.

He looks at the sky, neck tie loosened.

 _Please Don't_  he thinks.

The sky's beautiful and blue, like his eyes.

_Please don't._

Behind him, he can hear those cheerful cries, words of congratulations and bells. Yet, as he stands here on the balcony overlooking the city, all he can think about is how somewhere down there, on the pavement, is his hart, shattered into pieces.

_Please don't._

He tilts the bottle of champagne he'd snagged earlier to his lips. It's bitter going down.

He doesn't want to be here. He didn't want to stand there. He didn't want to give him away.

_Please don't._

Watching the one person he'd ever truly loved smile at her had broken his heart. He'd been there from the beginning. He'd watched them date, watched them fall in love, watched the proposal, and finally, the wedding. Like a mantra, the words in his head played on repeat  _'Please don't marry her.'_ But he did…..He married her.

He was alone. Too cowardly to confess, but he had wanted happiness for his secret love, even if it wasn't with him. That didn't stop it from hurting.

He flinches when he thinks he hears his name. From his pocket, Zoro pulls out a photograph that was ripped in half and delicately taped back together. It's the picture from the engagement party of the three of them. Ripped neatly down the middle, ripping her in half, hiding her from view. Instead, he's taped it so that it awkwardly looks as if it's him and Sanji together.

_Please don't._

The picture, besides the rip is crumpled and stained, as if the owner had gone over the photo numerous times, crumpling and uncrumpling the photo.

_Please don't._

A strong wind blows, and Zoro lets go of the picture, watching the wind blow it away. A single tear streams down Zoro's face and he whispers, voice ragged with a pain he'd never show to anyone but himself…

"Please don't marry her."


	12. Date night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: As always, One piece and all of the characters belong to Eiichiro Oda. I don't own or profit from this.
> 
> This is kind of crack-ish and just something I randomly came up with. As always, please read and review.

"We're never going to tell anyone how this happened.  _Ever._ " Sanji emphasized vehemently. He sat there on the couch next to Zoro, his boyfriend feeling as miserable as his lover looked.

Zoro's voice came out nasally, the bandage and his broken nose made his words come out funny, and muffled as he said "Agreed."

It had been Sanji's idea. Since it had been Friday night and a date night, they'd gone out for a romantic dinner and a movie. It was Sanji's turn to plan the date, so that's what he'd chosen. The dinner had been fantastic, the movie so-so. When they got home, Sanji had been feeling particularly needy.

That's when disaster had struck. Zoro hadn't been prepared, or paying attention. He'd been in the middle of taking his boots off, too busy to notice. When a boot hit the ground, he'd been tackled by Sanji, the back of his head slamming into the corner of the entry hallway table they put there for their keys and miscellaneous stuff. Of course Zoro's instinct was to swing a punch. After that, it had devolved into an attempt at love-fight-fucking.

It was a disaster.

They both got off just fine, but the fighting in between had been a bit more...violent with their lustful hormones raging.

Which was why they'd both ended up in the emergency room for well over five hours. By the time they had finally managed to go home it was eight a.m. on a Saturday morning and they were exhausted and embarrassed. What had started out as an excellent date had ended with a trip to the E.R.

Both men were exhausted as they sat on the couch, too tired to move, argue, or even tease each other. Sanji was nursing his black eye with a bag of frozen brussel sprouts. His left ankle was wrapped because of a bad sprain. His thumb on his right hand, index finger and pinky on his left hand had metal casts on it to keep the fractured fingers straight. Zoro on the other hand, got the worse end of the deal.

Zoro had a bandage around his head from where it had slammed into the corner of the table. He had a bandage on his nose from where it was broken. Over his left eyebrow, he had stitches from their sparring. His left wrist was wrapped up and in a cast from where he fractured it catching himself after a fall with Sanji on top of him. His right leg was in a solid cast up to his knee, his foot was broken from where Sanji's kick had connected a little too hard.

Explaining to the officers that this was NOT a domestic abuse case had been hard and tiring. It had been even worse when they both had to explain that their love making had gone a little over board. The male officer, suddenly understanding, had burst into laughter, clutching his sides. The female partner had proceeded to scold them thoroughly for being so careless. It had been an...interesting experience to say the least.

An hour after that, they'd been allowed to go home. They hadn't even bothered to clean up the apartment from their fight-fuck, they just collapsed on the couch in exhaustion.

Sanji, out of the corner of his eye, could see that Zoro was already nodding off. He didn't blame the guy, Zoro was probably the more battered of the two of them. Sanji got off easier than Zoro, he just had more bruises. Sanji found himself nodding off as well, his head resting on the back of their couch when he heard Zoro speak next to him.

"Cook."

"What mosshead?"

"From now on, whenever you wanna fuck, drag me to the bedroom first."

"Agreed." Sanji allowed a twitch of his lips to show he found it funny but agreeable.

"Good, and from now on I'm the pitcher cause switching off and letting you pitch means I'll have a reserved room in the E.R."

Sanji snorted and didn't even think, it was a reflex, buried his good foot, his right foot, in Zoro's gut. "Shitty marimo, this was a one time thing, it won't happen again... Marimo?" Sanji tilted his head to the side to look at Zoro who had a hand around his stomach, massaging where Sanji had kicked him. Concerned, Sanji asked "Marimo?"

Zoro grunted "You either broke or fractured my rib."

"...Fuck."

"Not for awhile cook, not for awhile."


End file.
